Bleeding on the page
by wilsonstories
Summary: A slightly different take on the whole essay/article story line. In this story the professor just sent in the paper to the contest and there is no winner announced yet. Just some reassuring love between them because I am in Wilson withdrawal...


**A slightly different take on the whole essay/article story line. In this story the professor just sent in the paper to the contest and there is no winner announced yet. Just some reassuring love between them because I am in withdrawal... **

**Sonny's POV**

_What makes my life beautiful_

_If you would have met me about a year ago, you would have met an entirely different person. I was shy, insecure, unhappy and at moments even depressed. Even though I loved my family, and I loved my friends, everything in my life felt wrong. It felt as though I was keeping up appearance, trying to be the person I thought others expected me to be, and I did everything I could trying to fit the social norm. And for a long time I was able to let everyone believe this facade, this mask I was wearing, until I met the one person who turned my life upside down._

_Let me introduce you to Sonny. Sonny is everyone's friend, a nice guy who is comfortable with himself and with others, always in for a laugh, and just fun to be around. That's what most people see when they see Sonny. I, however, see much more than that. I see my lifeline, my oxygen, the person who sees me and knows me, all of me, and loves me for it._

Someone is unlocking the door and I immediately realise it is Will. I try to muffle away the papers I am holding in my hand, but before I know where to put them he walks in, puts his stuff down, and walks over to kiss me hello. His hands lock around my neck and I lean in and enjoy the feeling of his warm lips on mine.

"Hi gorgeous."

His voice sounds a little bit shy, and I know it is because he is always afraid I will make fun of the names he gives me. But I just smile, wishing he would understand how much I love these little things he does. I just lean in and steal one more kiss, and then he lets me go and his eyes wander to the papers in my hand:

"What are you reading...?"

"Nothing."

"Show me..."

His hands reach out and he grabs the papers from my hand. I hold my breath while I see the expression on his face change.

"This is my article..."

"Yeah..."

"You are reading it..."

I realise I should breath so I take in a deep breath. He turns around and his eyes scan the text in front of him:

"How much did you read."

"I just started."

He nods and bites his lip when he turns back around to face me.

"Will, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you..."

He nods again, avoiding my eyes, so I plod on:

"I was just curious, since your professor is obviously impressed by it, and that makes me proud..."

"You should have asked me though..."

"I know... and I am sorry..."

Something in his body language scares me as it tells me not to step any closer to him. His fingers go through his short blond hair and suddenly I realise his posture is similar to when we first met. My mind goes back to his essay, and I realise that the shy, insecure, unhappy person he mentioned in the first alinea is standing in front of me. But I don't understand why me reading his article is so upsetting to him.

"Will..."

He folds the papers and says with a fake smile:

"It's OK, let's forget it."

Before I can say something else he turns around, closing our bedroom door behind him, leaving me confused and sad in the living room. When he walks out five minutes later he is dressed for a run, and when he is gone I suddenly feel how tense I am. I sit down on our couch and shake my head, unable to understand his sudden change of mood, his shyness and insecurity, which I thought were in the past. I grab a pillow and hug it to my chest, trying to calm myself down while I whisper softly:

"Please come back and talk to me..."

**Will's POV**

The fresh air is doing me good. I like running, and it is a great way to calm me down. My heart is pounding, not just from the physical exercise, but also from knowing that Sonny read part of my article. I reach the park and lay on my back on the grass, staring at the blue sky which is matching the colour of my eyes. My mind wanders back to the night I wrote the article...

_It's two o'clock in the morning. The apartment is quiet. Ari is asleep in Gabi's room while Gabi is away for the night. Sonny is curled up like a kitten and fast asleep, all relaxed, warm and comfortable. I was supposed to write an essay last night, but because Ari was very sleepy last night, we brought her to bed early. And of course, we were unable to resist the quiet private apartment, and I forgot all about my essay. I look at the sleeping profile of my boyfriend and I smile thinking about our passionate lovemaking just a few hours ago. Being with him, being so close to him, always blows my mind and makes me feel so safe and loved that it almost hurts. I crawl out of bed, trying not to wake him. But of course he stirs and his arms reach out to grab a hold of me. So I lean over and whisper in his ear:_

"_Shhh, go back to sleep honey..."_

_And so he does. I walk out to the living room, turn on a soft light and sit down at my desk. I grab the essay assignment and read: Write an essay about what makes your life beautiful. I read it over and over again, slowly realising that there is only one topic for this essay: my family. My unconventional family makes my life beautiful. I look at the two closed doors to the bedrooms and imagine my sleeping baby daughter with a curled up hand next to her head, and my sleeping boyfriend with his hair sticking out and his soft pink lips slightly parted as though he is continuously ready for me to kiss him. I pull my laptop towards me and within minutes I am typing faster than I ever have. The essay seems to write itself and two hours later I lean back, knowing that this essay is finished. I dim the light, drink some water, and then peek in to find Ari sleeping. I kiss her softly on her forehead and whisper:_

"_Thank you for making my life beautiful"_

_Then I find my way to our bed and I crawl next to Sonny. As he always does when I move he stirs and reaches out to hold me. When I am curled up against his side, with his arms around me, I just smile. His voice is soft and sleepy when he whispers:_

"_You OK?"_

"_Yeah..."_

"_Where did you go..."_

"_Nowhere... just go back to sleep baby..."_

"_OK."_

"_Son?"_

"_Hmmm..."_

"_Thank you..."_

"_For what."_

"_For you..."_

I smile at the sweet memory. I poured my heart out in that essay, mainly because I was just so happy that night. Crazy happy with my beautiful baby girl, and love drunk after making amazing love to the man of my dreams. And for some reason I just wrote it all down, or as they say 'I cut myself open and bled on the page'. I didn't read it again before I handed it in, and if I would have done so I probably wouldn't have handed it in. I probably would have been so embarrassed, and I would have ripped it into little pieces. But I did hand it in, and my professor liked it and now he sent it in for a contest. And I am scared of what people might say or think. I am scared for them to think I am weak for needing another man the way I need Sonny. Anyone who read the essay will immediately realise how much I love him, how much I need him, and how incomplete I am without him. My mind suddenly pictures Sonny holding the paper in his hand, his eyes slightly guilty when I said he should have asked me first. I sigh and close my eyes for a second, trying to understand why I am so scared for his reaction on my essay. He knows I love him, I say that all the time and I try to show it in little things, like calling him gorgeous when I kiss him hello. I bite my bottom lip while I try to be honest with myself. And I know that the truth is that the words 'I love you' are just not covering what he means to me. And in my essay I have tried to describe what he means to me. I put my heart on the table, and the words that came out will tell every reader what I feel for him. And I am scared that he will freak out when he reads this. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I pull it out. I received a message... from Sonny...

'I am sorry...'

I sit up and stare at the screen for a while. And then I type a message back:

'It's OK, I'll be back in about 20 minutes.'

I stand up and start my run home, knowing that he will be waiting for me and we will have to talk about this.

**Sonny's POV**

For the second time today I am startled when I hear him opening the front door. I jump up from the couch and look at him while he walks in. His eyes are shy, and he smiles his perfect, cute, lopsided smile:

"Hi..."

"Hi..."

We just stand there for a while, trying to figure out what to say to make this all a bit smoother. When my eyes meet his I suddenly know what to say:

"Will, whatever it is, whatever is going on, it is me... just me, so you can tell me."

The lopsided smile returns and his eyes stay locked onto mine. His voice is a whisper when he says:

"Can I... can I... I just."

He suddenly walks over to me and pulls me in a tight hug. I hold him close and hear his voice in my ear, while his warm breath gives me shivers down my spine:

"Just a hug..."

When he pulls back he sits down on the couch and I sit down next to him. We turn slightly so we are facing each other and I smile encouragingly. He takes a deep breath:

"Do you remember our first time...?"

"Of course I do... one of my favourite memories..."

His eyes quickly meet mine:

"Yeah, mine too."

"So...what about our first time?"

"Afterwards you asked me how I felt, and I tried to explain it to you... you remember that too?"

"I do Will, every word."

"And I said 'don't freak out' and you said you wouldn't?"

I nod, still not sure where he is going with all this. His hands reach out and I lace my fingers through his. His eyes stay fixed on our hands and I wait for him to continue.

"I guess I am saying that again..."

"What..."

"Don't freak out..."

"I won't honey, I won't freak out."

"So how much of the essay did you read?"

"The first two alineas and then you walked in."

"So what did you think."

His eyes avoid mine, but his hand is squeezing mine almost painfully. I see the emotions on his face and I am still not sure why this is such a big deal to him.

"I thought it was good... I mean, from what I read.. I just hope I can live up to that."

I try to say it in a light tone, but his eyes flash to mine and his voice breaks slightly when he says:

"You already have... you already have."

We stay quiet for a while and then he stands up. When he comes back he hands me the essay:

"Read it... I'll wait in the bedroom for fifteen minutes and then we can talk about it... if you want."

I nod and smile:

"You can stay here."

"No... I can't..."

My eyes fly through the text, and I feel how my heart starts pounding in my chest. And when I am finished my eyes go back to a few sentences, highlighted in a text box:

_He makes my life beautiful and worth it. He anchors me and makes me strong. I honestly don't know how to live my life without him anymore. Every dream I have for the future involves him, and the main dream is to be eighty and have all my memories to be about him. _

I read it again and again, slowly realising what Will is trying to say here. And then, for the third time today I am startled by the sound of a door opening.

**Will's POV**

He almost jumps up when I walk into the living room again. My heart is racing in my chest and I try to brace myself for him telling me that he is not ready for this, that I am way too serious, and that we should focus on the now and not on when we are eighty. I force myself to look into his eyes and when I do I can't help but tear up. He stands up, holding the papers in his hand, never letting his eyes stray from mine. When he is standing before me he holds still, waving the papers in front of my face.

"You..."

I swallow and hope he doesn't hear the pounding of my heart. And then I am in his arms, and I feel how his heartbeat is just as fast as mine. He keeps whispering in my neck:

"You... sweet, adorable, great, amazing, kind... you..."

"Sonny..."

"Yeah."

"I would understand if you would freak out."

He pulls back immediately and he shakes his head while his soft brown eyes seems to caress me:

"Are you kidding me? This is perfect, this is real, this is... this is everything..."

I bite my bottom lip, trying to let his words sink in. I decide to use all my courage to say my fears out loud, just to make sure he understands me completely:

"Sonny, in that paper I am talking about being eighty and being with you, I talk about how much I need you, I basically wrote that I can only live if I have you... I mean... we are young and relationships should be easy and breezy... not heavy and serious."

I catch my breath from the blinding beauty that is his smile.

"William Horton, whatever you wrote in here... I feel the same way baby... so don't think I am going to freak out, or walk away... This just made me the happiest man in this planet, and I am going to keep this..."

A weight is lifted from my shoulder and I lean over to catch his perfect lips with mine. It only takes a second to gain entrance and then I let my tongue softly stroke his. He whimpers and I hear how the papers fall on the floor and I feel how his hands grab my shoulders. It's a passionate kiss, one of those kisses that say more than a thousand words. We are out of breath when we let go and he leans his head on my shoulder. His voice is slightly muffled as he pressed his face against me:

"I was freaking out though..."

"What?"

He laughs softly, but I am not amused. A sudden fear flares up while I try to keep myself calm as I tell myself he is leaning against me and he just told me he feels for me what I feel for him.

"When you went for a run I thought you were really angry..."

I relax and pull him closer:

"Well you are a little snake... remember the valentines card? You took that from my bag without permission, and now you read this without permission... I should hide my stuff better..."

He knows I am teasing him because my hand goes softly and reassuringly through his hair, as I know he likes me doing it.

"No babe, don't hide anything from me anymore... I want to know everything about you..."

He tries to lift his head from my shoulder, but my hand keeps him close to me.

"Just for a minute Sonny... I just... let me hold you for just a minute longer..."

The way he leans into me again makes me dizzy with happiness and his whisper is perfect:

"You can hold me until I'm eighty..."

**Hope you all like it... let me know!**


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